


Brothers in Arms

by Nefaria_Black



Series: To Live in the Shadows [11]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Banter, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Canon Compliant, Drinking & Talking, Excessive Drinking, Friendship, Gen, Prompt Fic, Reminiscing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 16:33:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14116422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nefaria_Black/pseuds/Nefaria_Black
Summary: After Azkaban, Rodolphus enjoys an old friendshipOne shot, set during OotP





	Brothers in Arms

_Malfoy Manor, April 1996_

Rodolphus was slightly inebriated, enjoying the light-headedness provided by the firewhisky. He liked feeling like this, like he was floating inside his own body. He also liked that his body felt warm.

Warmth was the thing he coveted the most these days. His body had healed, as much as it was likely to at least, but still the cold lingered in his bones. So he drank firewhisky in the dark, before a nearly dying flame.

The door clicked as the knob was turned from the other side, and a wizard’s silhouette stood in the threshold. The figure was tall, but still lanky. Rodolphus smirked. It would take a while before Dolohov reacquired his burly built.

“I thought I’d find you here,” the silhouette said, walking inside and closing the door behind him, “and I sure hope that you’ve saved some of that Blishen’s for me.”

“Antonin,” Rodolphus’ voice was drawled now, “yes, there’s something for you in here, still.” He smiled in earnest, waving the half empty bottle at the other man.

Antonin pointed his wand at the hearth, resuscitating the fire, then at the pile of wood besides it, levitating a couple of logs into the fireplace, to feed the flames. Only then did he slump into an armchair, wide and regal, Conjuring a tumbler and filling it generously.

“You should probably stop drinking now,” he advised. Rodolphus snorted.

“And let you catch up? I can do that. Then will be sloshed together.”

“No, you idiot,” it was Antonin’s turn to laugh, “we both know what happens when you overindulge in spirits. The gardens suffer.” He grinned smugly, gulping the firewhisky down, and refilling both their tumblers.

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“You mean the afternoon you got so stupendously drunk that you walked outside during a blizzard and started fighting the bushes? Calling them Prewett and Dumbledore and what not?” He laughed loudly then, sounding rather like a content lion.

“I’ll never forget Bella’s face when she found us-”

“Shut up, Rodolphus, you barely remembered your own name that day! Bellatrix was quite the sight, though, body-binding you and levitating your drunken ass inside so that she could force that sober up potion down your mouth.”

They laughed together, happily, for the first time in years, sipped from their glasses and then let the silence have its turn in their conversation. They were comfortable like that, being quiet around one another. They had been close friends since Dolohov had joined the cause. Even at Azkaban, they would talk sometimes, at the beginning, before the spectres erased the memory of who dwelled in the cell next door.

Azkaban had a way of making them quiet, even now, of shutting them inside their minds, alone. Rodolphus huffed, for being alone in his thoughts always led to the same thing. Ruminating about Bella.

There was a low rumble in Antonin’s chest after a while, but he raised a hand apologetically before Rodolphus could snap at him.

“I know what that’s like too.”

“What’s that?” His voice was heavier from the alcohol, his tongue becoming harder to handle.

“Missing someone you never really had. Missing happiness that was never yours.”

“What on earth do you mean?” The vicious side to his soul, the one Azkaban had nurtured almost lovingly, was coiling inside.

“I know they don’t understand, but I always will.”

Rodolphus wanted to get up and fight then, but he knew all he could manage in his state was an embarrassing tumble from the sofa to the floor. Antonin shook his head, as if assuring him that it was no good.

“There was a woman like her for me too. A beautiful creature, with hazelnut hair and eyes the colour of the sky reflected on ice. A pureblood witch bred and raised among the wizarding elite of St. Petersburg. I was madly in love with her, and I believed her to be in love with me too.”

Antonin was quiet then, and Rodolphus raised his eyes to him. There had been many women in Dolohov’s life as a Death Eater. A bit too many probably. He should have seen it before, he should have known what he was doing. Drowning the images of the unobtainable witch in the skin of others, never allowing himself to become attached ever again. Like he did.

“She was in love with me at some point, I think, but there was another. More handsome, with a larger estate, able to provide her with a grandeur I never could, and she was simply smitten from then on. I was furious, I duelled with the bloody wizard for her heart, but she got in between us.” A sombre shadow descended on Antonin’s eyes that now watched the drink dance within the glass.

“Was she killed by a stray curse?”

“No. She did worse. She got us to lower our wands, walked to me and gave me the sweetest kiss. She tasted of rose tea. Not even Azkaban could rob me of that. It was poison that kiss. It was meant to save her lover and he wasn’t me.”

How Rodolphus knew that feeling. How many times had Bella soothed him with a kiss so that he wouldn’t do anything stupid? How many times had she kissed him only to keep him from lashing out at their Master during those first few years?

“So, you see, I understand. Lucius and Rabastan never will, but I do. I miss Aleksandra Kuragina every time I think of what happiness would feel like.”

They emptied their tumblers once more, refilling them swiftly. Both lost in memories, both imagining inaccessible women in the dance of the fire, both losers in the battle for love.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts and Challenges  
> Creative Collection Challenge: Pairing - Antonin Dolohov; Dialogue - I know they don’t understand you, but I always will  
> Caffeine Awareness Challenge: Latte - Write about spending time with friends  
> Jewel Challenge: Amber Bracelet - Write about someone who misses someone else  
> 365 Prompts Challenge: 109 Dialogue - "You're never going to let that go, are you?"


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